Parenting Flop

Every so often in this parenting thing you find yourself in a hole...and the worst part is, half the time you dug that hole all on your own!

While I was working on my *real* puzzle in the dining room this morning, the kids were doing puzzles on the computer on this great educational website Melissa told us about last week. For whatever reason, the computer kept cutting the puzzle pieces so there was only the back-end of a chicken on one piece. So, like a genius (in my defense, I hadn't finished my coffee yet!), I taught the kids about "Guess what?" "Chicken butt!"

They were amused.  :P

So I expounded. "Oh yeah...all the kids used to do it! And then Nonnie would say, 'Hey! Stop saying butt!'"

They were even MORE amused. :D

I should have stopped there. But then Rebecca asked, "What would Nonnie do when you wouldn't stop???" And here is where I started digging. 

I told her OF COURSE I stopped. I LISTENED to my Mommy. 

And they very dubiously asked, "All the time, Mommy?"

And words just spilled out of my mouth faster than I could think about them: "Well, most of the time...I mean, like, some of the time....um........I tried very hard to listen to my Mommy whenever I could!"

Little eyebrows are very busily crawling up foreheads at this point. Simultaneously, Rebecca asks in awe, "MOM! Were you a Bad Kid?" and Caiden turns to Rebecca and stage-whispers, "Rebecca! I think Momma was Not A Good Kid!"

Confession Time: I was an AWFUL child! I wouldn't have raised myself for all the money in the world! I am exceptionally grateful to my parents that they stuck with it, but dear lord was I a pain in the ass! However, no need for my children to be aware of this fact for a long, long time!

So now I'm being pelted with questions which I refuse to answer. 

"Mom, how many times did you get sent to time-out?" 
Answer: Many. Many many many. 

"Mom, did you ever get SPANKED?"
Answer: Oh yes. And I deserved it.

"Mom, did you ever YELL at your Mom and Dad?"
Answer: Yup. Yes I did. And I bit my sister too. More than once. 

"Mom, did you ever get a PINK BEE?"
Explanation: Rebecca's school gives color-coded pieces of paper with a bee stamped on them for behavior at the end of the day. Pink is the WORST. 
Answer: No. My school didn't have bees. But, come to think of it, I WAS almost suspended. More than once, if I remember correctly....

They are looking at me more and more suspiciously with every question I refuse to answer. Also, their eyes are twinkling. They seem to be very impressed. I think they know my answers, whether I will state them out loud or not.  :P

Ten minutes ago I overheard Caiden tell Rebecca that Nonnie *is* coming for Christmas...and they can ask her Any Questions They Want.

Oh dear. 

:P